Warcraft storyline [Ultra Compressed]

Basically, I’m very bored right now and since I DON’T want to do my homework, I have decided to type a short (VERY) summary of the Warcraft storyline. (based on my lousy memory) My earlier timeline could be a bit (A LOT) mixed up.

In the beginning,
Power gods called Titans fly around the space to create planets/life for kicks. Demons from a bad place called Twisted Nether broke through. A Titan called Sagaraes was in charged of killing them. After he killed a lot, he got influenced and became bad.

Then,
Sagaraes created the burning legion together with Archimonde and I think Mannoroth. Because they think they are so bad, they tried to invade the “world”, (place where wc3 takes place) and then got their ass handed to them (for god’s sake, Sagaraes is a GOD!) by primitive Night Elves.

After a while,
The Night Elves started to realize that the Well of Eternity that they drew magic from is BAD, cause it’s linked to the Twisted Nethers or something. Malfurion Stormrage (they were immortal remember? So he’s about 10000+ in WC3) was one of the first to voice out that opinion and started to learn druisim. (tree-hugging) His brother likes magic a lot and didn’t listen. Tyrande Whisperwind, the g3r that both of them like choose Furion because of this. The Queen and her High-Bornes were banished as they refused to give up magic. I think around this time other night elves who used magic (but not from the Eternity Well) moved away and became High Elves and formed Quel’talas.

Thenz,
a few things happened, troll got their ass kicked by elves, humans started appearing, the 7 human nations were founded.

Excitingly,
Aegwyn The Guardian kicked Sagaraes’s ass. (WTF? GOD?!?!) Sagaraes’s spirit left traces on Aegwyn’s. He was sealed in an underwater tomb. Later she gave birth to Medivh. (both his and his mother’s name were created by randomly hitting the key board. True Story. No, really, I ain’t kidding, the author had a writer block)

After than,
Mannaroth signed a burning contract (with all sorts of demonic writing on it) with Gul’dan, an orc shaman. The orc were suddenly powerful and bloodlusted. They killed the Draenei (another race on their planet) quickly. Being young and restless, Medivh joined the orcs. (acutally it was more because he was being controlled by Sagaraes’s spirit that bonded with his mummy) He made a big bad portal that let the orcs boson jump to Azeroth. Somewhere along the way, Gul’dan went to look for Sagaraes’s tomb in search of power and got his butt kicked by demonic shadow voice thingys…

Warcraft: Orcs and Humans,
Da big bad orcs fight the puny humans. Orc crushed puny Arezoth fast. Friend Medivh killed by what’s-his-name. Orcs killed King of Arezoth. Lothar ran with people of Arezoth to Lordaeron

Warcraft II: Tides of Darkness,
The honourable human kingdoms merged to form the Human Alliance, also aided by Dwarves and High Elves. Trolls, Ogres and Goblins joined the vile orcs for unknown reasons. (probably for kicks) King Llane and Lothar (who died in the Blackspire siege) led the Alliance to victory. Dark Portal destroyed.

WarCraft II: Beyond the Dark Portal,
Naugthy Ner’zhul opened more Dark Portals to look for artefacts from all over the world so he could open more Dark Portals…Humans made their own and came through to reach Draenor, the home of orcs. Ner’zhul tried to open more Portals and the power destroyed the whole planet. He went into one and reached the Twisted Nethers, where the demons he betrayed…or something ambushed him and tortured him…or something and he was only left with his spirit. Anyways, the humans escaped back through the portal and only 2 orc chieftans with their clans survived.

Warcraft II: Reign of Chaos,
Thrall an orc escaped from human internment camp and went towards Kalimdor because a prophet told him to. I mean, Jeez, how often do you see someone travel that far just because some strange old guy told you to. Human king didn’t listen to old guy. Anyway: ULTRA COMPRESSION MODE: Burning Legion gave Ner’zhul a Lich body. Ner’zhul in charged of preparing their invasion on Azeroth. He made the Undeads. Undead soon overtook Humans. Arthas, prince of Lordaeron, took the Frostmoure blade and become an undead Death Knight. Humans ran to Kalimdor. Night Elf, Orc and Human fought at first then unite. Illdian killed Tichondrius, a powerful demon, in demon form and got banished. Grom Hellscream, friend of Thrall, killed Mannaroth, that demon who created Burning Legion with Sagaraes. BTW Dalaran and the High Elf city got totally destroyed by Undead/Burning Legion. Archimonde and the Legion reached Kalimdor. Humans, Orcs and Night Elves unite to defend against him. Night Elves sacrficed their immortality to kill Archimonde. End of WC3.

Warcraft III: Frozen Throne,
Not completed yet. Basically Illidian returns with Naga to do something sinister. Warden Maiev Shadowsong set out to stop him. High Elves renamed Blood Elves to avenge their fallen comrades. Arthas sits on his frozen throne and got his ass frozen.