Harakiri

Practical Guide to Seppuku.

Seppuku is highly ritualistic, exquisitely precise and earns you maximum respect from students and potential job interviewers alike. However, to avoid excessive pain, thoroughly internalise this fact: seppuku is all about RITUAL. Often one was not even required to DO anything, merely reaching for the knife was considered to be the act initiating your secondis coup-de-grace (the famous “47 ronin” were despatched thus). In almost all cases death occurred from having the head almost separated from the body. (Never describe this as beheading, traditionally reserved for common criminals and quite beneath the dignity of gentlefolk.)

Obviously you have to decide well in advance why you are doing it as precise etiquette varies. Resistance, remonstrance, show of loyalty, affirmation of the correctness of one’s own position, expiation of a crime and the wiping out of disgrace are all perfectly good reasons; being refused a work visa is not (though it might come under funshi, or seppuku to express great indignation). After all, even in matters of self disembowelment a man must retain a sense of proportion. We will discuss “basic” seppuku and leave you to furnish your own flourishes.