Nanoha StrikerS — the S is for Sucks

It seems like the entire world is against me on this, but I hate Nanoha. The entire series is generic and uninspired. The story is cliched and predictable. The characters are flat (in more than one way) and uninteresting.

Nanoha StrikerS

I thought that maybe it’s because I am not a lolicon. Maybe it would be better if the girls were older. Nanoha StrikerS sounded like a pretty good idea. But apparently, I was wrong. It’s just as boring as ever. Let me summarize the first episode the way I saw it…

First we are introduced to Subaru, a generic hyperactive (as emphasized by her bandanna, her hand guards and her rollerskates) girl who was rescued by Nanoha from a fire and spent the following years of her life fantasizing about having hawt lesbian relationship with her saviour. I hate her.

Nanoha StrikerS
“My right hand is swelling with justice!”

Next to her is Teana, a generic tsundere twin-tail redhead who obviously has the hawts for Subaru but refuses to admit it due to her over-inflated pride. She is secretly jealous of Nanoha’s position in Subaru’s heart but at the same time she refuses to be true to her feelings and desperately tries to convince herself that she is straight. In other words, she’s a textbook example of tsunderekko. She carries a revolver that can also act as a grappling hook, making it one of the most innovative weapons in the entire series. Not.

Nanoha StrikerS
“This grappling hook revolver is a metaphor for my confused sexuality.”

The two of them are taking the qualifying exam to become serfs of the Space Time Administration. In order to pass the test to become agents for this paramilitary organization that seems to hire nearly nothing but girls, something that would’ve gotten it sued by ACLU if Japan were America, Subaru and Teana must destroy a bunch of targets within a set amount of time. Targets that move slower than the Earth’s tectonic plates and shoot tiny pulses of beams that look like they can’t even power a pocket calculator.

But somehow Teana manages to get owned anyway. The over-confident tsundere girl getting owned by a puny target drone? How unexpected. Clearly a new benchmark for future plot twists in the series.

Nanoha StrikerS
“I love you but I gotta hit you to pretend that I don’t!”

And what is even more unexpected is that despite the leg injury suffered by Teana, the two of them managed to come up with a daring and vague plan to destroy the final boss which happens to be a large generical spherical object. Shocking. I was so touched by the friendship and love they displayed through their splendid teamwork that I weeped. Or maybe it’s just sand.

Nanoha StrikerS
“Watch me skate uphill on a glowing path made of pure love!”

At this point I decided that maybe I should stop watching before the awesomeness of this show overwhelms my brain’s capacity and drives me insane with its sheer brilliance. But it was too late. My body refused to respond and I couldn’t lift my hands to reach for the left mouse button. I resigned to my fate (LOL FATE).

So anyway the two girls passed their test. Hurray! I didn’t see that one coming. Nanoha makes her grand entrance with a face that’s just as loli as ever. Apparently people in this show don’t grow older, they just grow bigger and taller. Either that or the character designer needs to work on his proportions.

Nanoha StrikerS
takamachi nanoha desu.

Subaru immediately goes into wai wai fangirl mode and attempts to glomp Nanoha. Teana pretends to not care but curses Nanoha in her heart. And they live happily ever after. The end.

Actually, I admit that I’m not being fair to the episode with this summary… I made it sound more interesting than it really is. :/

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96 Responses to Nanoha StrikerS — the S is for Sucks

  1. Gud says:

    >> So anyway the two girls passed their test. Hurray! I didn’t see that one coming.

    Actually, they failed the test, as Ep 2 shows. Feel stupid now, don’t you?

  2. DarkMirage says:

    I don’t see how that changes anything.

  3. Beowulf Lee says:

    >>>Actually, they failed the test, as Ep 2 shows. Feel stupid now, don’t you?

    This comment is so ironic.

  4. Yyi says:

    >>>Actually, they failed the test, as Ep 2 shows. Feel stupid now, don’t you?

    Like DM said, it doesn’t make any difference. From the OP, they’ll still be serving under Nanoha’s squad.

  5. Anonymous says:

    So, basically you are saying that “Nanoha sucks and everyone who likes it is a stupid lolicon”? What a way to be an elitistic asshole.

  6. Tyrenol says:

    The Nanoha series would’ve been better if it was “Triangle Hearts.” The H version. With a handsome young guy having sex with 2 (maybe 3) hot girls.

    World Trade Federation, Japan?! WTF?!

  7. teh_bear says:

    lol Nanoha does suck.

    But the 2nd season was watchable. And this even moar so.

  8. DarkMirage says:

    No, I am saying Nanoha sucks. You extrapolated the rest yourself due to your own prejudices. :)

  9. Mew-chan says:

    Hmm. Then I guess I’m a stupid lolicon. I liked it alot.

  10. Karko says:

    honestly im only watching this series purely because yesy are doing it.. not the best reason for something I know but if they can see something there then im sure there’ll be something that appeals.. though it may be a while before I see it >.>

  11. Skane says:

    ^ In Response To Karko

    A lot of the finer details are going to be lost if you don’t watch the first two seasons before StrikerS. ^^; It should be relatively easy to find the batch torrents by [DGz] for the first two seasons.

    Cheers.

  12. LoserEXE says:

    I haven’t even watched Nanoha yet… So I’m far from watching StrikerS!… XD…

  13. Anonymii says:

    Your resistance only makes me wanna watch it moar.

  14. EG says:

    Now, I liked the first two seasons a lot, but this StrikerS simply… sucks.
    I hate the new characters, and the design of adult Nanoha is horrible.. I mean, she’s a 19-year-old who must fear to be abducted by some crazy lolicon. And some of the former main characters seem to have been demoted to cameo ones… just like Yuuno; he was one my favorites, but it’s horrible what they did to him….
    Anyway, all grown versions of the characters suck, except for Fate.
    And no, I’m not some fanboy who simply watched the first Nanoha seasons because of the great loli potential it had; I’m a girl and not into loli at all. I watched it because it was quite dark and somehow interesting compared to other Mahou Shoujo series, and because of Fate and Yuuno.
    I’d only continue watching StrikerS if one of the characters died. Yup.

  15. Natassa says:

    why do you guys hate Nanoha StrikerS so much?!
    the first ep may be ridiculously boring but not to me. i think it is quite a good way to start the series. at the end of Nanoha A’s, it was supposed to be 6 years later. in Nanoha StrikerS, after the midchilda airport incident, it forwards to another 4 more years. SO what? the character may only look bigger and taller. SO what? whatever it is, Nanoha StrikerS is going to get better as the episodes continue. to all Nanoha haters, GO TO HELL.

  16. Delicious Flat Chest says:

    The Triad (http://www.the-triad.org/) dropped the show, because Strikers sucks. Am not watching StrikerS because they violated my LOLI NANOHA, FATE, HAYATE, ARISA, and SUZAKA, by making them older. Would ACCEPT NONLOLI versions of their characters ONLY IF they maintained a DELICIOUS FLAT CHEST.

  17. manga says:

    Watched Nanoha – loved it
    Watched Nanoha A´s – loved it
    Watched 3 eps of Nanoha Strikers – love/hate relationship since nothing has happend in three eps…

    So I understand why you don´t like it. It could have been better, way much better.

  18. NEko-Chan says:

    The first 2 seasons of nanoha were juz average but strikers is juz pika***. Mainly that nanoha were first more popular wif the females but guys seems to drool or smthing;;; on “magical lolitas”www

    – Hail to the great haruhiism! !

  19. --SHINING-- says:

    I entered in fangirl-mode and was about to launch my nuclear rockets to your place, when I noticed that you’re right.

    I really LIKE nanoha and nanoha A’s, but StrikerS is far from what them were. I’ve already seen 5 episodes and still nothing. I like it, of course, because i liked the old series. It’s like Dragonball GT :P.

    I think it could be better at ep13 or something, the first anime was really normal until ep6 (where everything stops making sense xD).

    It’s all I have to say, being objetive, it’s a good anime, no more (my inner fangirl is blaming you anyway >=]). It’s not Haruhi.

    PD: The lolicon fact is definitely important :D.

  20. Zyrael says:

    Lolicon or not, it’s still art as far as I care…

  21. kiren says:

    shldnt say that, DM, Nanoha strikerS anime is nice…ppl luv the anime, totally dun understand why u ppl don lyk it. even if u don lyk it, shldnt criticise it so much rite? think if ppl criticised your work, how wld you feel? feel ashame, u guys who criticised nanoha. nanoha still remains as cute as ever :p

  22. kiren says:

    and 1 more thing, I LUV THE ANIME :p

  23. ...(: says:

    OH GOD!!!!!!!! I lurve nanoha. u r watching it and crying at some moments, AND u said it sucks? Are u crazy??????????????????
    ps:the email address is not mine-plus im not a boy, the owner of this email address is bill gates

  24. just thinking..... says:

    hello??????
    Anime is nice. Nanoha is nice.ppl tt dun noe how to appreciate anime, for goodness sake:
    Don’t watch
    Don’t make any comments
    cause u r unfit to do so!

  25. Galen says:

    wow. spamfest of doom…also I think it’s decent. not as epic as the 1st two, but decently good. and once they grow up, there is no more need for delicious flat chest…it becomes juicy round chest

  26. DarkMirage says:

    I don’t see why Nanoha should be exempted from criticism considering it’s just another anime series.

    And I’m not actually sure what is there to appreciate in such shallow and blatant franchise milking that doesn’t even have nice animations to make up for the lack of substance.

    But I guess I am not qualified to deliver my opinions on my own blog. Oh shit.

  27. Rainbow says:

    i am a nanoha fan myself, and it seems like nanoha is the only one in the show who almost died, twice. the first was in a’s, where they took her linker core and all, while the second one is in the manga, which will be shown in episode 9 in strikers. she got enery-drained or something like that. i am not very sure…

  28. Jeff says:

    Rewatchability value of StrikerS up to the latest Episode? Very low.
    Rewatchability value of Nanoha & As? Reasonably high.

    Still, they are not making it into a 26 parter for nothing. 4 more characters, twice the length. I’m waiting for the entire series to be completed before making any form of final judgement on the entire series. =)

    Episode 1 may be bad, but a bad start may not have a bad end ;)

    P/S: Tamura Yukari & Mizuki Nana are still top form.

  29. Dz says:

    I’m with you on this one now, Dark Mirage. At the beginning I thought you were a deranged retard, but with each passing episode, I feel like a dumbass and the more godly you seem.

    Damn….

  30. Carlos Viana says:

    I love Nanoha and I want to kiss her.

  31. yurei says:

    acctually, they didn’t pass, they failed because one of the moves they used was considered against the rules. i gues you were looking for too many faults to actually notice what was going on. next time i strongly suggest sitting up and paying attention.

  32. lol says:

    lmao i like the little comments that u make after each pic

  33. Kathy says:

    I think the first and second seasons are average, but Nanoha Strikers is 1000 times better! Well, if u hate Nanoha Strikers, why do u still make comments? If u hate Nanoha Strikers, GO AND BASH YOUR HEAD 10000 TIMES!

  34. ch92 says:

    EC…u r the sucks..if u dun like it..shut it…no one asking for your comment…duh

  35. Demonkiller24 says:

    well there are some nanoha fans out there…haha thou im one too xD the anime has it own bad n good points…the storyline cut out well enuff when it’s reaching the end…but mayb too little action n more toking which made it rather boring? =\ but nvm it ending soon…running after the last episode =D

  36. Snowplum says:

    nanoha Strikers is not that boring as u think. It just that the action starts at ep 17. so just skip the first 16 ep and watch ep 17. Trust me ,it’s not that boring as u think. anyway, Vivio is so kawaii and Fate is so cool!

  37. tsuki says:

    maybe you should tryin watching the entire season before actually saying it sucks. nanoha strikers is by far the best of all three seasons.

  38. eD says:

    no kidding that u’re being bias against nanoha strikerS. it is the best season as it shows us more than the first 2 seasons how the magical headquarters works and operates. and no it is NOT predictable although i’ve to say there’re too many characters in the season. overall it cant be graded as ‘SUCK’

  39. :D :D :D :D says:

    Wow…this whole thing is such BS i laughed at how stupid this rant really was, Nanoha StrikerS was one of the best out of the 3 seasons and this guy obviously needs to watch whole series before he starts bashing it. And i’d also like to point out that obviously he didnt watch episode 2, because he would have known that they DIDNT pass the exam just like he tried to bash/point out.

    So basically all in all…just shut your damn mouth about a series until you actually take the time to watch the whole thing, because if youre going to be a baby about one anime episode, just shut the hell up

  40. Naolin says:

    Ahaha, well… Yes, StrikerS was…different. I had to force myself to finish it, but some (some) parts were worth it. I much prefer A’s. Thumbs up on the review tho’- pretty much summed it up.

  41. Edward says:

    StrikerS was bad, but the first season and A’s was pretty good, since those themes while cliche, at least were represented in a way quite well for an old anime. Well, relatively. I’m not sure how much you care about music, but their OPs are good, even if not for sight but sound, so I’d give them credit there. Themes in StrikerS make one think too much about Gundam. Theme is Gundam, training is too Gundam, and they pose like Gundam. StrikerS = Gundam loli. That sucks.

  42. Inan says:

    I hated Nanoha StrikerS. The first series was pretty good. The 2nd was excellent! StrikerS was fucking boring. Unlike you, however, I found the first episode slightly interesting. But then it became incredibly boring. After episode 4 I had to force myself to watch it. At around episode 20, I wanted to see what other people felt about it. Some say it was “the best of the 3 seasons.” Some others say it was shit. Then I found this blog. I guess I’m not alone on this opinion.

    Why do I find it to be a terrible series?
    1) Narmic – A Narm is a moment that is supposed to be serious, but due to either over-sappiness, poor execution, excessive Melodrama, or the sheer absurdity of the situation, the drama is lost. The moment is often found funny by fans. It can be extremely subjective. (TV Tropes)
    2) Plot inconsistency. Magic = harmless… right? Well, it was supposed to be!
    3) Deus Ex Machina. Countless examples.
    4) Unbelievable plot devices. May go hand in hand with Deus Ex Machina.
    5) Poor writing. Poor characterization.

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  44. ZZZZZZZZZZZ says:

    I will say one thing all the third season is a mess, all the girls become lesbians, in particular nanoha, besides the series became horrible

    Season 1 and 2 was quite good, but this … is a big shit

    the whore called Reinforce zwei puts me in a bad mood that dwarf blue hair, I feel like being stepped on by an ugly shit, he preferred his old version (which seemed to Suigintou Rozen Maiden)

    if you hate lesbians or cee bad experiences can happen, do not look the third season

    sorry for my bad English I’m from Argentina

  45. texasroper says:

    In my opinion, nanoha didin’t need a three season to begin with. I mean do we need to know about Nanoha’s life as a adult? no The creator should have left Nanoha a’s open ended like clamp did with cardcaptor sakura; either that or make a third season except with a two year time skip instead of ten. mind you I loved the original series and A’s.

  46. Sally says:

    Notice how nanoha only helps out girl characters only if it was a boy needing to find his way she wouldn’t care why? Because the creator is gender bias against guys which is ironic because he’s a guy himself an otaku twatball who doesn’t know first thing about reality or how real people interact.

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