Matrix: Revolution

Finally, with the release the third and last installment of the gajillion-dollar budget tech demo, Matrix is over and done with. I would have been happier if they ended it right at the end of the first movie, but oh well.

Note that this rant will be extremely biased and spoiler-filled (not that anyone else have not watched it yet)… What do you expect? It’s MY blog.

Contary to popular belief, the third movie is not the best thing since sliced bread. Also, the ending sucked. Finally, the ending was NOT difficult to comprehen, unless you never bothered to watch the first 2 movies, watch Animatrix, play Enter the Matrix, buy every single Matrix merchandize in existance and eat Matrix cereal everything. Ok, that was a bit too far, but seriously, I fricking hate movies that like to make reference to every franchise tie-in they’ve got. The first movie did not have this problem since it did have have franchises then.

Ok, now onwards to the next issue… The predictable storyline. Let me just sum up the whole third movie for you:
1. Dialouge between characters about why they trust Neo.
2. Action sequence caused directly or indirectly by the above dailouge.
3. Repeat step 1 ad infinitum

Oh another thing. It seems to me that the first whole 20 minutes with the train station and the French guy was just an excuse to have a gunfight. What other good did it do to the storyline? Ok, it introduced the little what’s-her-name girl and also explained how Neo woke up. But hell, it wasted too much time. What difference would it have made if Neo just woke up suddenly by himself and then later met the girl at some other part of the movie. Nvm, I’m sure the gunfight justified everything, since there wasn’t any more chances to do a matrix-trademarked style gunfight later on in the movie.

Next on the list… The believability of the plot. First of all, am I to assume that although the humans have the ability and resources to mount an EMP on EVERY fricking ship they’ve got, they don’t even have a backup one at home? Isn’t it common sense to have an last ditch attempt? You know, when the sentinels surround your base, you blow an EMP as the last resort? But nooooooo, all they’ve got is a bunch of INEFFICIENT mechas! HELL, SCREW PROTECTION, LET THE PILOT HAVE NO WINDSHIELD AT ALL! OMG! We wasted so much resources building bipedal mechas when we didn’t even LOOK at what we are defending. They are standing on fricking PLATFORMS that drop to INFINITE DARKNESS on either side and they defend the farking place with FRICKING bipedal robots that can fall off the sides easily. Hell, tell me, WHAT FSCKING PURPOSE ARE THE MECHAS SUPPOSED TO SERVE? Zion is full of places inaccessible to two-legged giant robots. All the damn tunnels outside Zion will probably be as easy to navigate with a bipedal robot as driving a car in water.

You see, their defence strategy is apparently to stand around and shoot as much as they can. Now since they just stand around and shoot, tell me what good is their legs for? Wouldn’t it have been much better to just build a whole fricking lot of turrets with REMOTE CONTROLS so that their fricking pilots wouldn’t be exposed like an opened can of sardine.

Oh yeah, even THAT doesn’t make sense at all. You see, one SINGLE ship with a single shot of EMP managed to defeat a whole wave of attacker. Now if what I remember is correct, the reason they don’t have EMPs in the city is so that their defences would not be disabled by friendly fire. WELL, who cares! All you need is a few fricking EMP. Enemy come, one EMP, one whole wave of enemy gone. YOU DON’T EVEN NEED BASE DEFENCES.

Nvm, if I’m going to spend my time correcting all the logic loopholes in the movie, I would probably die of old age.

My MAIN and actually the only real problem with the movie was the story. It just DOESN’T get to me. When Trinity died, I didn’t feel anything at all. I realize that the director wanted to go for a “tearful farewell” moment, but it was just meh. In fact while she was mumbling, I kept thinking “JUST FRICKING DIE ALREADY!”. Hell, you can even say that the movie has no story at all, it was all just a huge fricking TECH DEMO.

And I LAUGH at the feeble attempt at a “wow, that’s deep shit” ending. I laugh, I really did. I mean, jeEEZzz, it just boiled down to good vs evil all over again. The Animatrix had my hopes up that maybe the conclusion to Matrix will not become a simple black and white fight to the death.
Smith: I’m bad
Neo: I’m good
Smith: I mock your goodness, DIE!
Neo: I’m dead
– INSERT DEUS EX MACHINA –
Smith: NoooOOoozzz!! Stay away from me!!! I’m melting!!1!11111oneoneshift1

I think Matrix also contained every single action movie stereotype in the world. There’s the “main hero” which is Neo, who from the brink of defeat managed to destroy Smith… There’s the “tragic female lead” which is Trinity who died from tentacle penetration. (ermmm…sounds hentai) There’s the “innocent little girl” that represents all that is good. There’s the “old stern veteran” who dies slightly later than the other extras and gets to say some lines before dying an honorable death. There’s the “coincidental hero”, that newbie kid who somehow was SO lucky and piloted the last goddamn mecha and saved the day semi-indirectly.

And what’s with the goddamn ending. You know, the whole “ENEMIES ALLIED TO FIGHT AGAINST COMMON FOE” crap.

Now after all’s said and done, I admit that most of the faults exist in every other sci-fi/action movie there is. HOWEVER, what’s different with Matrix was that it was OVER-HYPED. “OMG itz teh matrixs!” Well NUTS, I don’t care how fricking cool the explosion was or how fluid the computer generated graphics are, I LIKE A MOVIE WITH AN ENJOYABLE STORY and Matrix was NOT it. The CGs managed to make up for the average plot in the first movie, but the same stuff gets old, VERY VERY OLD.

I’ll just put this under rants… with a old timestamp so it will not clog up my fricking main page.